


Blink ~Destiel~

by E_C_J_E_M12



Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-05-14 18:23:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 10,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5753569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/E_C_J_E_M12/pseuds/E_C_J_E_M12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I always try to keep my eyes open, to never blink. If I do, sometimes I miss things. Almost like the way I missed the boy with bright blue eyes and a heart covered in thorns.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prolouge

//Prologue//

All it takes is a single moment. If you blink, you'll miss it. Of course sometimes a whole lifetime passes you when you blink, because of the choices and paths you've wondered down. I didn't really believe that, not at first. I believed that everything was right in front of you and always was. Sometimes you just aren't looking, or you don't look hard enough.

Though the boy with the doe eyes that shone bluer than the ocean captured my attention quicker than any chick throwing herself at me. Even faster than my Impala could go, he'd caught me at first like a deer in the headlights. Then all of a sudden he was the Earth keeping me stable, letting me orbit around him like the moon. He was perfect. Dark wavy locks that were messily brushed to the side. He'd stood there, white shirt with a plain black jumper on top, his grey jeans hugging his legs. At first he'd been shy, almost jumping out of his skin at the slightest bump or touch.

Though he was jumpy at first, he soon became cool and collected, no emotions on his face as he'd walk from class to class. His pink lips always pulled in a tight smile in effort to make his brother, Gabriel, believe he was happy. Gabriel would barely notice, he looked elsewhere or he simply, blinked.

As much as I tried, as many times as I blinked, he was stuck in my mind. His blinking blue eyes forever floating around in my mind. Even when I wasn't looking at him or even when I slept, he was there. Blue eyes watching calmly, a steady sad smile pulling itself up at the corner of his lips.

Though it soon disappeared. The moment I _blinked_.

 


	2. Blue Eyes

Staring in the mirror I watched as the water slowly trickled off my face. Green eyes staring back at me, light brown freckles that flecked my cheeks and the bridge of my straight nose.Chuckling slightly I licked my lips and grabbed the Hand towel and wiped my face dry before exiting the bathroom, my feet walking along soft plush carpet that as an ugly green that had multiple stains from either blood or alcohol.

Passing my dad's room I could hear him snoring heavily. Biting my lip I quickly rushed past, worried that he'd wake up and act like the drunken idiot that had the audacity to call himself my father. Entering my room I groaned in annoyance, Sam had been in here because out of the three collongues I had, my favourite was gone. Ignoring it I quickly dropped the towel, pulling on a pair of briefs and blue jeans that were slightly tight around my legs. My arms pulling a dark grey shirt over my head, allowing it to hug my toned torso before pulling on a red plaid shirt, leaving the buttons undone. Smiling I sprayed some collongue, knowing that the girls liked it, though it was a weird thing to like in all honesty but hey, whatever gets the chicks.

Sighing I grabbed my backpack, my books already in my locker at school. With a small groan I grabbed my keys and jogged down the stairs, Sam waiting by the door, book in hand absorbed in the text that it held. Pushing the book upwards, Sam let out a small shriek of surprise as he quickly regained his composure. His brown hair flopping around his face, framing his features so that he reminded me of a lost puppy. Sometimes he acted like one too.

"Sam, why'd you take my collongue again?" I grumbled as we climbed into the old, black 1967 Impala Chevy. 

Sam's cheeks heated to a bright shade of red as he sat shotgun, shoving the book back in his bag.

"I uh... I have a lunch date today," Sam mumbled as his cheeks continued to burn red.

"With who?" I asked in a teasing tone. The car engine purring to life as we started the drive to school.

"Uh... Gabriel."

Looking sideways at Sam I raised a brow, "Novak? Gabriel Novak?"

Sam looked down at his fingers, fiddling with them to try and ease his nerves as he nodded his head in agreement. I knew Sam was gay. He'd admitted it ages ago, though he'd been thirteen at the time, he knew he was gay. Though it meant he couldn't tell dad. Being the religious freak he was, all he knew was that Sam was too invested in his studies to be interested in dating. Which was partially true on some level. Gabriel was in-between Sam and I's year groups.

I was a Senior and Sam was a Sophomore who'd started school early then placed a year ahead because he was the smart one out of the two of us. Gabriel was a Junior who was the class-clown for all the year groups. Always in the office because of a prank he'd pulled or simply because he refused to do any work. Letting out a sigh I reached over and patted Sam's shoulder smiling slightly at him to ease his worry.

"Just be careful Sammy, I don't want you getting hurt," I mumbled as I pulled the car into a car park.

Sam nodded his head, smiling brightly before climbing out of the car and racing to find his friend Jess. It was obvious she had a thing for him, but Sam hadn't officially come out to anyone except me. He was brave and stood for what he believed in but sometimes he was too shy. A loud groan passed my lips as the bell sounded, signaling for the students to go to class. Climbing out of the Impala with my bag I walked up the cracked path that led to the out-dated high school. It was funny that the high school was actually called 'Free State High School', I wasn't surprised my dad had sent us here. Instead of paying for Sammy to go to a better school he sent him here, so that he could spend all his money on poker games, women and alcohol. Ever since mum had died he'd changed so drastically.

I'd already started saving to help Sam get into his dream college, Stanford. I'd already arranged how it'd be done, I'd pay for it and ask the school to let him think it was a scholarship. It was fool-proof. I already had two thousand stored away from pool gambling's that I usually played on Friday and Saturday nights. Every other afternoon I was working as a mechanic, it was an easy job for me, I loved cars and as my boss, Bobby Singer had said once 'I had a way with cars'.

Entering the large building I noticed how everyone had already entered the classrooms. Being late was honestly worth it, I hated the stampede of people and the rush hour to get to class in time. As I entered my English class my teacher ignored me as I took my seat up the back of the classroom. Opening my book I started writing the same crap that we were learning this semester. _A Cage Of Butterflies by Brian Casswell_. It was an interesting book to say the least, one that I'd actually read and found easy to write about.

My eyes flickered from the whiteboard to the door as it opened, presenting an awkward boy with dark hair that had been combed over yet was still a mess. His legs covered in grey jeans and a bee jumper on. It wasn't cold but it was a bit warm for bee-jumpers. I watched as the teacher talked to the boy before pointing at the spare seat beside me. As the boy approached I felt my throat tighten in shock. He was beautiful. Despite the silly bee jumper, he was flawless, his black hair framing his face and making his blue eyes seem brighter than anything else in the dull room.

As he sat down beside me I watched as his cheeks flushed red as he looked at me.

"Uh... Hi..." he said shyly, his voice deeper than his innocent blue eyes led me to believe.

"Hi, I'm Dean Winchester," I replied smoothly as I placed my hand out for him to shake.

"Castiel Novak," he answered shyly. His blue eyes watching me with a shy calculation. 

As the class dragged on all I could think about was those blue eyes. Shy yet calculating and wise. Like he was taking in every single detail he could. Like it'd be his last. The boy with blue eyes was certainly a mystery that I was determined to figure out.

 


	3. Golden Heart

As the day slowly dragged on I realised that fate had decided to place the boy with bright blue eyes in my classes. It was frustrating because in each class the teachers had decided to place him beside me. It was slightly annoying and I felt like a creep. As we finally finished the day with gym I was more than happy to run from the class, still in my grey sweatpants and loose white shirt, to the Impala. A large smile on my face as I slid over the hood and landed with ease near the driver's side. Letting out a sigh I climbed behind the wheel, patiently waiting for Sam and for everyone else to leave the parking lot. I hated the rush so much I was willing to wait it out. As I drummed away on my steering wheel I watched as Sam exited the building, his cheeks a bright red as he walked beside Gabriel, easily towering him. I smiled as I watched as Sam placed a chaste kiss on Gabe's cheek before bolting down to the Impala. I laughed as he climbed into the passenger seat, cheeks still red.

"Really Sam? If you're going to kiss him kiss him like a real man. Spin him 'round to face you and kiss his lips," I said with a laugh.

"Shut up, jerk," Sam grumbled.

"Whatever Bitch."

Starting up the car I watched as Sam started texting someone, probably Gabe already. A small giggle coming out of his lips as his phone beeped with a text, letting out a sigh I pulled out of the parking lot and started driving home.

"Sam? What do you know about Gabriel's brother?" I asked, my eyes scanning the road wearily.

"Uh... I know that he's Gabriel's younger brother and that before this school that he's had a few problems but that's it. Why?" Sam asked as we turned down a familiar street.

"Because he's in all my classes and is seated beside me for every single one. I try talking to him and he doesn't listen. And younger? How's he a senior then?"

"Uh, he and Gabe started school at the same age, there's just a few months difference between the two, eight, to be exact but he was placed an advanced class and that's why he's a senior now."

Nodding my head I pulled up in front of our house, allowing Sam to get out of the car. His tall frame walking slowly into the house before I finally drove off to work. Work was easy in my opinion, fixing cars was probably the greatest thing I did, that and looking after Sam. Pulling into Bobby Singer's shop I climbed out of the car. The smell of fuel and metal fuming together, my fingers itching to get my hands on my tools.

"'Bout time Dean. We have a customer that urgently needs the car repair. Said they'd pay double if we managed to get it done within the next hour," Bobby shouted as I walked into the shop.

"Oh really?" I said with a laugh.

"Yeah, now hurry up and fix the man's car," Bobby growled.

Racing to the bathroom I quickly shrugged off my sports clothes and started pulling on my blue jumpsuit. In less than two minutes I was out of there and walking to the servicing area.

"Afternoon sir, sorry about the delay," I said as I walked up to a man.

His back turned towards me, the only thing I could see was wavy black hair that was messy. As he turned around I felt the air being pulled out of my lungs as I was met with those brilliant blue eyes.

"'Bout time," Castiel grumbled. He'd ditched the bee jumper at some point, showing a dark grey short sleeved t-shirt.

"Well I'm sorry, I had other things to do before I came straight to work," I snapped.

Not my finest moment I knew that, but it was annoying when people were like this. Most of the town knew my father was a drunk and that I paid for most of our bills. Except Castiel who was acting like he was king of the world and that everyone had to be on time.

"What? Like screwing some chick in the back of your car like a whore?" he asked with a raised brow.

Gritting down on my teeth I turned away from Castiel, trying to calm my anger that seemed to be boiling. Picking up my tools I walked over to his car, pressing the button to lift the run down champaign coloured car.

"What was the problem?" I asked as I looked underneath the car.

"It was spluttering heaps when I was driving," Castiel said, voice full of boredom.

Looking underneath the car I quickly found the source of the car problems.

"I can't fix your car today sir, the problem is the gasket exchange. It'll take me a week if I'm lucky to get the part in. Then a whole day just to put it in," I said as I started to remove the piece.

"What!" Castiel exclaimed. 

"You can't drive your car anywhere," I answered in simpler terms.

Castiel let out a growl, muttering a chain of curses under his breath.

"Great, I have to be in Texas for tomorrow," Castiel groaned.

Letting out a sigh I knew I was going to regret this, "I'll drive you."

"What?" Castiel squeaked out.

"Do you have anything else you need to take with you? Because I just said I'd drive you."

"Uh.... No."

"Let's go then," I suggested as I started walking towards Bobby.

"What's the damage?" he asked.

"Gasket exchange is broken and needs to be replaced. So I'm driving him to Texas for tomorrow midday," I answered as I started pulling off the jumpsuit, revealing my jeans and grey shirt underneath.

"Boy, you don't have to. e can catch a plane," Bobby suggested.

"No Bobby it's fine, I need to do this anyway," I answered.

Bobby let out a sigh of frustration, "Boy you have a golden heart you know that?"

I smiled at Bobby, "Doesn't hurt to help others. Even if it's just to drive to Texas."

Walking towards the Impala I watched as Castiel grabbed his duffle bag and threw it in the back before climbing in the front beside me.

"Texas, here we come," I said with a grin as we started towards Texas.


	4. Road Trip

Heading out towards the highway I turned the radio down, Castiel was watching out the window, his eyes drooping with sleep.

"Hey Cas?" I said, nudging his arm with my elbow.

"Cas?" he said with a frown.

"Yeah, short for Castiel, makes it seem a bit nicer if you have a nickname," I said as I glanced at him.

Cas's brows pulled down into a frown as he bit down on his lower lip. Raising a brow I looked at him, slightly confused at his reaction to the nickname.

"No one ever called you that before?" I asked.

"No, Gabriel usually calls me Cassie or little bro. No one's called me that before, thank you. I think," Cas mumbled with a frown.

"Don't thank me, it's perfectly fine Cas," I answered as we continued to drive.

Reaching over to the radio knob I turned up the station, the sound of AC/DC filling the car. Cas let out a groan as he listened to the song. Letting out a laugh I looked at Cas with a grin.

"Livin' easy, Lovin' free. Season ticket on a one way ride, Askin' nothin', Leave me be, Takin' everythin' in my stride, Don't need reason, Don't need rhyme, Ain't nothin' that I'd rather do," I sang loudly, a grin on my face as Cas rolled his eyes.

A smirk found it's way on Cas' face as the chorus came up, his blue eyes full of glee.

"I'm on the highway to hell! On the highway to hell, Highway to hell, I'm on the highway to hell !" We sung together, so out of tune that we didn't car. Our laughs filling the car as we sung along to the classic.

As the song slowly died down Castiel let out a long laugh, his cheeks a rosy red from the singing and the laughing. Shaking my head whilst grinning I looked for a gas station to pull over at. Once I found a quick 'gas and food' I pulled over and unbuckled my belt. Flicking through my wallet I pulled out a fifty and climbed out of the car. Filling up the tank I glanced around the station, there was no one here except the cashier. Letting out a sigh I walked inside and payed the cashier for the gas and grabbed two bottles of water and a pie. It probably wouldn't be the best considering it was from a gas station but it'd do. Walking back to the car I chucked a bottle at Cas who caught it easily.

"T-Thanks. You didn't have to buy me a drink though you know that right?"

Shrugging in response I sat the pie on my lap and started driving again. After ten minutes of driving I smiled as I pulled over at a small pull over area and climbed out of the car with the pie.

"What are you doing?" Castiel grumbled as he climbed out of the car.

"Well, I got us dinner," I answered, holding up a pie that was pre-sliced.

Cas' eyes widened as he sat beside me on the hood of the car, his lower lip caught between his teeth. Looking away from Cas I grabbed a piece of pie and and handed it to Cas. Cas took it silently and started eating the apple pie. A small smile on his face as we watched the sun die away for the day.

"So why do you want to go to Texas?" I asked as I ate another slice of pie.

Castiel looked down at his hands, a faint smile playing on his lips and his cheeks flushing red.

"To... To see my boyfriend," he whispered, his eyes glistening over.

I raised a brow at him, "Your boyfriend?"

Cas just nodded his head, his smile wasn't as bright as I'd thought it was, it was weak and that caused me to faulter.

"Cas?" I whispered, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Cas' head swirled around, eyes full of anger, at who, I wasn't sure. Hesitating for a second I debated whether this was a good idea or not.

"What?" Cas snarled.

"Does he hurt you?" I asked, almost afraid of the answer I'd receive.

Cas looked away, his lip caught between his teeth as his eyes watered with tears. Swallowing I pulled Cas into my arms and held him close. At first nothing happened, then, Cas was sobbing heavily. His tears soaking my shirt as he clutched it in his hands, his body shaking with each and every cry. Breathing in deeply I ran my fingers through Castiel's dark locks, knowing that it was meant to be soothing. It was what my mum had always done when I was crying. After ten minutes of crying Cas pulled away, his breaths shaky and uneven as he wiped the tears away.

Smiling sadly I moved Cas' hands away,  my thumbs easily ridding him of the tears. Cas watched me with large blue eyes. Almost like he was caught in a trance.

"Cas?" I spoke quietly.

Instead of getting a reply, I let out a gasp as a pair of soft, thin lips crashed on top of mine...


	5. Tire Marks

At first I was more than confused about the kiss as I sat there unresponsive. Then, my brain seemed to catch up with me as I kissed him back. At first the kiss was slow and soft but then I pulled away, remembering that Cas had just admitted to having a boyfriend.

"Why'd you stop?" Cas mumbled with a frown.

"You have a boyfriend! One that hurts you too!" I cried in frustration. Only I could have managed this, I'd barely known him for a day and I'm kissing him. Dumbass Dean.

"I-I know," Cas answered as I slid off the hood.

"Then why would you do that? That's cheating!" I said as I threw the pie away. Unable to disgust what'd happened.

Castiel said nothing as he slid off the hood and climbed into the passenger seat beside me. Starting up the car I breathed in deeply through my nostrils, trying to calm the raging storm inside me. Pulling back onto the highway I pressed my foot down to the pedal, trying to rid myself of anger through speeding. Not the best of ideas but I did it so often it was ridiculous.

Cas looked down at his hands, fiddling with them as he chewed on his lip again. Shifting uncomfortably in my seat I tried to ignore how it turned me on. Cas' lips were still red from the small make-out session we'd just had. Licking my lips I tried not to look at Cas who was sitting beside me. Pulling back onto the highway I could feel my heart racing, the tightening of my pants at what just happened. What could've happened. _No_ , I thought, it wouldn't have happened. It was just a spur of the moment and Castiel was confused.

As the miles clicked by I was more than revealed as the exit sign for Texas showed up. Taking the exit I glanced over at Castiel, his head rested against the window as he slept. With a sigh I pulled over at a truck stop and turned off the engine, locking the doors I climbed into the back of the Impala, determined to get three hours sleep, at least.

 

 

"Dean? Dean wake up!" a voice demanded.

Grumbling I sat up rubbing my eyes. Looking around I noticed Cas sitting there in a state of panic.

"What time is it?" I mumbled, as a yawn passed my lips.

"It's two o'clock."

"In the morning?" I asked as I climbed into the front.

"The afternoon!" Castiel screeched. 

"Crap," I muttered.

Starting the car I pulled back onto the road, the tires squealing as I started speeding.

"Where to?" I asked Castiel.

"Castle Gap, Killeen," Castiel answered. 

As the Impala cruised over the potholes and the tar road my heart thrummed in its cage, waiting to be released. As I pulled up in front of the house Castiel pointed at I began to grow nervous for him. As Cas grabbed his bag I grabbed his arm. A frown ceasing his features.

"Thanks for the lift Dean," he whispered, his eyes wide and skin pale.

"Cas, listen to me. If he hurts you. Call me, immediately and I'll come and get you, understand?" I pleaded.

Cas looked at me, slightly shocked as he nodded his head, grabbing his phone I typed my number in there.

"Thank you," he whispered before racing into the house. 

Climbing into the car I watched as the door was opened, a guy about six foot two standing there with an angry glare. His red hair messy and his skin slightly tan as he glared at Cas.

"I shouldn't leave him here," I whispered, more to myself. Cas gave one glance over his shoulder, one of fright. 

"Fuck," I muttered.

Climbing out of the car I stormed up the dry grass, glaring at the asshole. Grabbing Castiel's arm I stormed down to the car, him following me without hesitation. Opening the door I motioned for Cas to get in. Turning away from Cas I looked at the asshole who was storming towards me. Shaking my head at him I climbed behind the drivers wheel and started the engine. The ranger panicking with anger as I started driving, doing a U-turn I started speeding back for the highway. The tires squealing and leaving tire marks on the tar road as we left the red-head in the middle of the road, screaming like a banshee.

"Why'd you do that?" Castiel whispered, playing with the edge of his bag.

"You really think I'd let you stay with some asshole who was hurting you?" I demanded, shocked.

Castiel didn't answer, just looking down at his bag with shame and guilt.

"Cas," I whispered gently. "I couldn't do that, that's just cruel," I answered.

"Thank you," was all Cas whispered as tears fell from his eyes.

 

 

 


	6. Swings

** Castiel **

Narwing down on my lower lip I tried to ignore my phone that kept buzzing with both texts and calls from Jonathan. Looking out the mirror I rubbed my wrists again, a small purple bruise where Jonathan's fingers had been gripping them with anger. Closing my eyes I could still see him, anger written on his face as Dean dropped me there. I knew I was in for it, he'd beat my ass and then-

"Hey Cas, you okay?" Dean asked as he pulled up in front of a small take-away shop.

"Perfectly fine," I answered, a fake smile plastered on my face.

Dean looked at me for a second, hesitant and scared to say something. Worried that I'd break like glass. I didn't blame him though, I felt like glass. Smiling I watched as Dean got out of the car and walked into the small shop, my heart beat racing. Looking down at my phone I watched as it started ringing again. Swallowing my fear I answered the call.

"H-Hello?" I answered.

"Where are you Castiel?" a voice demanded.

"Jonathan leave me alone," I pleaded as the tears fell down my cheeks. 

"Castiel you're my little slut do you understand? You owe me for what you did all those years ago. Wouldn't want to get poor Gabey Wabey involved now would we?" Jonathan snickered.

"I paid my debt off. I-I'm not a slut either!" I cried into the phone.

"You are Cast-"

I gasped as Dean grabbed my phone and threw it out of the car. His face angry as he sat down with the bag of hot chips.

"Damnit Cas, why would you answer his calls?" Dean asked.

"Why would you throw my phone!" I shouted back.

Dean looked at my phone that was smashed with guilt. A sigh passing his lips as he retrieved it from the ground.

"Sorry Cas, I'll have it fixed, yeah?" Dean said as he handed it to me.

"Yeah," I whispered.

Sitting in the car silently I watched as Dean started the car and drove for a few minutes before pulling up at a park. It looked like it'd be popular, if it wasn't for the fact that it looked out-dated for most children. Climbing out of the car I followed Dean to a set of swings, sitting beside him as we silently passed the chips back and forth. The air tinged with a cold chill despite the sun being out.

"What'd he say to you Cas?" Dean asked once we'd finished the chips.

"Doesn't matter," I answered, looking down at my feet as I swung them slightly.

"Why doesn't it matter? It must've if he was making you upset Cas. Tell me, please?" Dean pleaded.

Only knowing Dean for around twenty-four hours made me nervous, yet something calmed me and told me to trust him. To tell him everything, the issues with Jonathan, how I wound up with such an ass to how annoying Gabriel could be. Yet I couldn't. My mouth opened and closed, forming puffs of air instead of words. Dean let out a small sigh of his own.

"It's okay Cas, tell me another time when you're ready yeah? I'm always here if you want to talk," Dean answered.

"Thank you," I whispered, feeling guilty for not telling him.

"It's fine Cas, don't feel like you have to tell me. Just tell me in your own time, when you're ready," Dean suggested.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"So what was with the bee jumper the other day?" Dean asked, swinging the swing slightly.

"Oh," I mumbled, blushing. "I really like bees. They fascinate me, how they work well together, how they pollinate everything about them is just- Sorry, I'm rambling. It's a bad habit," I mumbled.

Dean just grinned widely as he looked at me, a small chuckle passing his pink lips.

"No, it's fine. I'm just surprised that's all. Most people hate bees."

"Do you?" 

"Hate bees? Not really. I don't like them that much but as long as they don't sting me I'm right," Dean answered, shrugging his shoulders.

"Wasps are more likely to sting you."

"What?" Dean asked, confused.

"Wasps, their more likely to sting you for being close to their nests. Bees attack if they are in danger or if you are touching their home," I answered.

"Oh, I didn't realise, thanks," Dean said with a grin.

Sitting on the swings with Dean we sat there, not speaking as the sun slowly start sinking away. The moon and stars starting to shine dimly despite the pollution.

"Hey we better get going. I needa get home for Sammy and I can't miss work tomorrow," Dean mumbled.

"Sam's you're little brother?" I asked as we walked to Dean's car.

Dean laughed, a fond smile spreading across his face.

"Yep, Sam's my little bro and although he can be annoying I love him."

"So Sam's the one Gabe's been talking about," I muttered.

"Sam's been talking heaps about Gabe too. I don't want him breaking Sam's heart though, I know the type of tricks he can play on someone," Dean said seriously as we climbed into the car.

"I know, but that's life. It's like a swing. It has its highs and lows and its forever going back and forth between the two," I answered. 


	7. Emeralds

**Castiel**

Sitting in class I let out a small huff, bored already about what we were doing for Maths, but nonetheless doing it. I was more than familiar with it but I just couldn't focus, my mind slipping towards something more interesting. A set of green eyes that were lazily staring at the board as the teacher droned on and on abut the subject. Triganometry, I think it was. Though most of the class wasn't listening to what he was saying. Picking up a pencil I started sketching in my maths book, a bad habit I'd developed a few years ago.

"Mr Novak, this is Mathamatics, not art," you teacher scowled.

Looking up I started up at the balding man, his hair white with a dark mostache and a small pot belly. Raising an eyebrow I just shrugged, not really caring today.

"Detention," the teacher growled as he stormed back to the front of the class and scribbling non-sense on the board.

Glancing over to the other side of the room I watched as Dean talked to... Maria? I think that was her name. Clearly flirting with her, her cheeks flushing a bright red at whatever he was saying. Glaring down at my book I tried to ignore the pit in the bottom of my stomach that was reaching up and clutching my heart.

Breathing in deeply I tried to calm myself down, tried to ignore the emotions swirling in my heart as I sat there. My pencil digging into the page as I waited for the class to finish. I was tired and it was only first period. As time slowly ticked by I continued scribbling the notes on the board into my book. Once the bell went I sighed in relief, shoving my things into my backpack before leaving the room.

"Yo', Cas!" a familiar voice shouted.

Panicking I ran. Shoving past the bunches of bodies heading to their next class I felt the tears welling in my eyes as I ran out of the school. My feet carrying me quickly as I left the school property and headed out towards the park. Collapsing on the green grass I wiped my eyes dry, as I stared at the small pond, the water dirty and scattered with ducks.

Jumping as the silence was broken I noticed my phone was ringing, not bothering to look at the caller ID I hung up. Not even a minute later it rang again, making me hang up once more. As the phone rang once more I snapped and answered the phone.

"I'm not in the mood Dean," I growled.

"Dean? Oh baby this isn't Dean. Try Jonathan," Jo snickered down the line.

I sat there, breathing in deeply as panic start to set in. This was a new phone, new number. _**How?**_

 "How'd you get this number?" I whispered.

"Doesn't matter. But after the other day's stunt, you're lucky I won't beat the shit out of you. Unless you get here within the next twenty-four hours. Do you understand Castiel?" he whispered calmly.

This was the terrifying part about him, not the build and looks, but how passive aggressive he was. Biting down on my quivering lip I breathed in deeply as I wiped away the tears that were falling free again.

"My car's at the mechanic's," I mumbled.

"I'll get you, tomorrow. Castiel. You wouldn't want little Gabe getting hurt again, would you?" he sneered.

"No," I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut.

"I'll get you at three," Jonathan stated before hanging up.

Hugging my knees to my chest I started crying. My chest aching in pain and shame. I couldn't let Gabriel get hurt again, not when I had gotten myself tangled in this mess in the first place.


	8. The Heart

**Warning: From now on there will be mentions of and chapters of sexual and violent abuse within the chapters.**

**Castiel**

Biting down on my lower lip I looked down at what I was wearing, a grey jumper, loose black pants and a white shirt. It was nothing fancy but it was comfortable, just the way I liked it. Grabbing my black back pack I whimpered at the pressing reminder of what was going to happen later today.

~~

For once, my classes flew by, even maths went quickly for once. Standing in my gym clothes I tried to focus on the game of soccer, but every cell in my brain kept reminding me about Jonathan. The dark blue eyes and orange hair that were engraved into my memory, like how to breathe. They weren't the types of things I was forgetting anytime soon, if ever. Shuddering at the thought of him I turned around at the sound of a shout, groaning as a white ball collided with my face. Falling backwards on my ass I groaned, holding my nose as it started to pour with blood. Stumbling to my feet I mumbled an excuse to my teacher before grabbing my stuff and heading to the nurse' office. After being handed a box of sandpaper-like tissues I explained what happened to the pudgy nurse.

I watched as she wrote it down on the incident report. Grumbling in annoyance I stormed out of the office as the last bell rang. Wiping the last of the blood off I threw the tissues into the bin. Sucking in air, I raced past the hoard of bodies and out into the car park. A sigh of relief passed my lips as I realised he wasn't here. It was an empty threat. Walking down the steps I couldn't help the large grin on my face as I looked for a beautiful, old black muscle car. Laying my eyes on the car I opened my mouth to call for Dean's attention, only to be pulled backwards into someone's arms. Spinning around I stood there, gob-smacked. A pair of cold blue eyes smirking down at me, a mop of unruly red curls acting like a fiery crown atop of his head, causing my breath to hitch.

"Miss me, baby?" he snickered.

"Jonathan?" I stuttered, my eyes wide.

Jonathan's eyes flickered to where Dean was, a smirk on his face as he puled me towards him and mashed his lips to mine. The bitter taste of alcohol and smoke invading my senses as he gripped my waist tightly. Whimpering in fear, I submitted to the brutal attack as my hands clenched at my sides.

"Time to go baby," Jonathan whispered in my ear before pulling me towards his car.

Swallowing hard, I glanced over my shoulder, just in time to see Dean's Impala leaving the car park. Being pushed into the car my body started to tremble with fear. Swallowing hard, I watched as Jonathan drove out of Lawrence and pulled up at a small, run-down motel. Breathing in deeply I followed Jonathan, his hand gripping my wrist tightly as he led me to his room. The door an ugly marron colour with a rusty number '9' nailed to it. As soon as Jonathan had the door open he pushed me onto the bed as he kicked the door shut, anger written on his face.

"Let me remind you, who you belong to slut," Jonathan growled as he ripped his belt off, clutching it in his hands.


	9. Beating

Tapping on my pen on the desk my eyes glued themselves to the door, waiting for a familiar face with blue eyes to walk through.

"Mr Winchester, do I not have your attention?" the teacher, Mr Long demanded. 

"You do sir," I answered, looking up at the middle aged man. 

"Good, then you can tell us why at the end of the novel Winston says I love big brother."

"Because Winston feels and knows that the last act of difiance he has within him is to lie to big brother himself by saying he loves him," I answered. 

Mr Long mumbled something before turning his attention to the rest of the class. Turning my attention back to the door I glanced down at my phone, Castiel had run off after class and he hadn't returned. Biting on the end of my pen I tried listening to Mr Long and his lecture but all I could focus on was the door, praying it'd open and Cas would walk on in. I couldn't stop thinking about the distant look he had in his eyes as he left the class room for lunch. Something was off.

"Mr Winchester," Mr Long snapped once again, his voice impatient and filled with annoyance.

Dragging my eyes away from the door I looked at Mr Long once more with a raised brow as he glared down at me. 

"Look, I really don't care about Big Brother and 1984. I get it, the government is watching us like hawks and the winners get to 'alter' what really happened and why they're right. But I have other shit to deal with," I growled.

"Detention Mr Winchester!"

"Yep," I mumbled.

Standing from my desk I picked up my book and pen, my bag already swung onto my back as I walked to the door.

"Do you want to make that a second detention?"

"Sure, we can make it a date," I answered as I left the room.

Walking out of the school building I headed towards the car park with my phone in hand.

"Why do I have to say my name- Oh uh... this is Castiel, I guess you can leave your name and number after the-" the beep sounded before Castiel could finish his voicemail which made me laugh.

"Hey Cas, where the hell are ya? I haven't seen you since, well before lunch. Just call me back okay?" I rushed, trying to make sure that it all fit into the thirty second frame.

Hanging up, I pulled out my keys as I started to near the Impala, a small amulet that Sam had got me years ago. Apparently it was meant to bring luck or something, he couldn't really remember but he said it was something really good. It never left my side, I remember before I was allowed to drive that I wore it as a necklace and now it remained on the key chain. Keeping me safe. Just like Sammy said it would.

Lost in my own thoughts I let out a groan as I tripped over something. A small whimper leaving it as I lay on the ground. Glaring at the person beside my car my glare fell.

"What the- Cas?" I asked in confusion.

The boy didn't even bother looking up at me, his face buried in his knees as quiet sobs went through his body. His pants and shirt were dirty, and wet in some places, and Cas' hair, that was always perfectly brushed to the side was a mess.

"Shit Cas I'm so sorry man, I didn't see you there," I whispered, trying to get him to look at me.

"So-orry, I just... I needed to... I just ne-eed some time away from class," Cas whispered, his breathing hitching with every few words. Watching him like this

"Cas, how long have you been out here? It's freezing."

"I don't know. Awhile. I think."

Frowning, I gently tilted Cas' face upwards, making him look at me. Wincing I noticed the dried blood that ran from his nose and his split lip.

"Cas who did this?" I demanded.

"I don't want to talk about it," he growled, pulling his chin out of my hand. His dark hair falling in front of his eyes as he wiped the tears away again.

"Fine, but at least get in the car, you'll freeze out here," I whispered.

Cas didn't answer. He just stood up and walked to the other side of the car, waiting for me to unlock it. Once the car was unlocked he climbed in, shivering from the cold as he tried to curl up into the smallest ball possible. 

"Do you want something to eat?" I asked as I started the car.

"No," he whispered, his eyes staring at nothing.

"What if I take you back to your house?" I suggested.

"N-No."

"Okay, where do you want to go?" I asked.

A full ten minutes passed before Cas stopped shivering, and another five before he told me where he wanted to go. His answer made me frown, but I didn't question it. Anything to try and help bring him out of his state of shock and talk to me.

"You sure?" I asked, again. We were almost there and he hadn't said a word.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Cas whispered, holding his hands in front of the heater to capture its warmth.

"The park it is," I mumbled as I turned down a familiar street that led to the park.


	10. See-Saw

Castiel didn't say anything as he sat on one end of the see-saw, his eyes looking down at his hands as I gently rocked the both of us. The park was quiet for a change, there weren't any kids running around, screaming with awe. The park was.... Empty.

"Hey Cas?" I asked after awhile.

Looking up from his fingers, my breath hitched as Castiel looked up at me, his eyes shining a bright blue. His dark hair flapping over his eyes, my fingers itched to push it away, to be able to see his face and beautiful eyes better. Instead, I pushed the urge away and tried to ignore it.

Silently, Cas stood from his end of the see-saw and walked over to me, his head down as he stood beside me. Smiling I started walking towards the duck pond, Cas walking beside me. The sound of our foot crunching on gravel as we neared the pond, the ducks floating on the cold waters.

Sucking in a breath I reached beside me, blindly grabbing hold of Castiel's cold hand. As soon as my hand grabbed Cas' his fingers laced with mine. As the heat rose to my face my free hand scratched the back of my neck. As we silently walked my skin tingled with delight and my heart skipped a few too many beats. Here and now with Cas, holding his hand as we walked in the park. It felt natural, almost like breathing. Tightening my grip on Cas' hand I looked out the corner of my eye, my breath hitching as I saw Cas smiling, his gaze on our intertwined hands.

Stopping at a beach beside the pond I sat down and waited for Cas. Hesitating Cas sat on the table, his blue eyes focusing on the pond.

"Do you know how it feels to be hit Dean?" Cas asked, his voice quiet.

"Yeah, I've been hit a few times," I admitted.

"No," Cas paused, looking down at his fingers as he played with them. "Do you know what it's like, to be hit by someone who says they love you?"

"No, I don't," I answered. "Cas-"

"Don't, just... wait till I finish. If I stop I don't think I'll be able to start again," Cas interrupted.

Nodding my head I waited for him to continue.

"I... I met Jonathan at a party, we hit it off and I don't remember the night really. I had so, so much to drink. I think we had sex? I dunno," Cas shook his head, his brows furrowed in confusion.

"Jonathan wanted to try and start something, like a relationship or something like a fuck buddy I don't know. I kept saying 'no' and he kept asking. One night, Gabriel and Michael had been drinking and something happened. Gabriel and Michael did something to piss Jonathan off, he rang me and threatened that if I didn't agree to whatever he wanted that he would "bash Gabey-Wabey's head in". Jonathan was known for being a hot-head at school and he'd gotten into fights over stupid stuff at school. I panicked and said yes. I said yes to protect my little brother," Cas spoke, his voice shaking as his eyes brimming with tears.

"Cas it's okay, you can stop if you need to," I whispered, my heart breaking as I listened to him.

"No, I want to tell you. I need to tell you. I need to... to talk about this to _someone_ ," he cried out. Frustrated with himself.

"But after accepting Jonathan's deal, I became his personal whore. Where ever and whenever he wanted. If I protested, or did something one or wore the wrong thing, I coped the end of it. If he was mad and he wasn't horny, I got beaten. I eventually learnt how to use makeup to cover up any visible bruises. No one but Gabriel noticed, he took me to the police once. They went and saw Jonathan, the next day Gabriel came home with a broken nose, a broken arm and the blood. There was so much blood Dean. After that my dad decided we needed to move. So we came here. To Lawrence," Cas' voice broke. The tears flowing freely down his cheeks.

Standing up I stood in front of Castiel, gently wiping away the tears. His blue eyes looking up at me as my heart shattered into millions of pieces.

"Listen to me Cas, I'm not going to let anyone, especially not Jonathan, hurt you ever again okay? I promise you," I whispered.

"You can't promise something like that Dean," Cas argued.

"I can and I will," I promised.

Cas looked at me with hopeful eyes, and in that moment I felt invincible. Like I could do anything just to keep him safe. Smiling weakly I leaned down, pressing my lips to Cas'. At first Cas hesitated, quickly he responded, his hands gripping onto the back of my jacket, pulling me closer. Grinning widely, I pulled Cas closer, one hand holding his waist while the other held the back of his neck. Pulling away from the kiss I smiled at Cas who beamed at me earlier. Leaning down for another kiss, neither of us were aware of someone watching us with anger.


	11. Lost

⚠️ **Warning** ⚠️  
 **This chapter is full of mature content (mentions of or in detail of rape or abuse)**  
  
  


**Castiel**

Leaning over the biology textbook, I wrote out notes on the food chain. Letting out a loud sigh I tapped the end of my pen on the notebook, re-reading through my hand written notes I let out a groan. They were a mess and I'd missed important pieces and I needed to draw a diagram of a food chain. Ripping out the page I scrunched it into a ball and threw it into the trashcan, which didn't land due to my dodgy aim.

Slamming the textbook close I stood from my desk and flopped onto my bed, I could already feel a headache forming. _Great_ , I thought sarcastically. Pulling out my phone I smiled widely, my stomach flipping with excitement as I saw who it was from.

**New Message from Dean ;)**

_Hope you like it, from Sam_

Frowning I opened up the attachment that Sam had sent from Dean's phone. Instantly my cheeks flared with heat at the photo Sam had sent me from Dean's phone. Grinning widely I buried my face into a pillow, laughing at the fact that Sam had managed to send me a photo like that. A loud knocking came from the door, pulling me out of my thoughts and giddiness. Putting my phone on my bedside table I rushed to the front door as the knocking quickly turned into banging.

"Okay! Calm down!" I demanded as I flung the door open.

As the door swung open everything seemed to happen in slow motion as my heart dropped. Bright hair that seemed to catch fire in the sunlight and dark eyes that were filled with rage. And that smirk, I knew it anywhere.

"I hear you've been whoring around baby. You know I don't like sharing," Jonathan growled. Approaching me like a predator would with its prey, right before it pounced.

"J-Jonathan. What are you doing here?" I stuttered, taking numerous steps away from him.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm here to get you. My little whore," he snickered, lingering on his last words.

"Jonathan, no," I spoke, trying to sound confident. In my mind I sounded confident and powerful, the way Dean always spoke. But I knew, despite my try that it came out weak and strained.

Jonathan chuckled as he slowly undid his belt, kicking the door closed. Watching him I froze, my body refusing to move as my brain reminded me of all the times this happened. Of the lashes of his belt, the hits, the vile words and the... Shutting out the memories I could feel the bile rise up to the back of my throat as the floor seemed to sway making me dizzy. No, I thought. Please not again. I can't do this again. I promised myself I wouldn't let him.

Almost as a second though my brain kicked in, giving me control of my body again. Through my vision which was now blurred I watched Jonathan as he quickly checked the kitchen out, obviously making sure dad and Gabe weren't home. And they weren't. Dad had to see his publisher in New York and Gabriel was with Sam. Sucking in a breath I quickly ran to my room. Shutting the door I grabbed my phone, cursing myself as my hands shook violently. Making it near impossible to hold the phone.

"What are you doing little _whore_?" Jonathan asked as he stood on the other side of the door.

"G-Getting ready. The way you like me to be," I answered, my heart throbbing as my lungs tightened, needing more air as I texted Dean.

"Please be quick," I whispered before running to the closet.

In the back, hidden amongst the other junk I owned was the 'uniform' Jonathan demanded I wore no matter what. Swallowing hard I pulled on the lace, tripping several times in my frenzy. If I was quick I wouldn't cop the end of Jonathan's belt or his fists.

"If you're not ready in the count of five. Then I'll have to punish you," Jonathan laughed.

"I'm ready! I'm ready!" I shouted as I stood in the middle of my room, waiting for the floor to swallow me whole.

As the door opened I felt my heart crush itself as he walked in. Closing the door Jonathan lost his clothes, leaving them on the floor. My gaze lingered on Jonathan as his smirk grew, his eyes, though full of hate, lust was buried in there too. Swallowing hard I waited, praying that Dean would see my message and hurry over.

_Sooner rather than later._


	12. Lilac

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters left guys ;)

"Bobby I'm heading home, you need me to do anything else before I leave?" I shouted to Bobby as I stripped out of my overalls and put my jeans and t-shirt on.

"Nah boy, you can head home now," Bobby answered from the office, still doing paperwork.

Grabbing my bag and car keys I headed to the Impala, opening the door I started the car up to life before looking at my phone.

**New Messages**

**Cas (2)**

**Sam (5)**

**Gabriel (3)**

 

Frowning I rang Sam. As the phone continued to ring my panic seemed to grow as each ring seemed to echo in my ears. Each ring louder than the one before.

"Hey this is Sam," Sam's voicemail echoed in my ear making me growl as I ended the call.

Opening the messages my heart dropped as I read the ones from Cas:

**_Dean, I need you_ **

_**ASAP** _

Chucking the phone onto the passenger seat I pressed my foot onto the gas, driving to Cas' house. As the streetlights blurred into the scenery I felt my heart racing, an unknown cord pulling at it, telling me something was wrong. Slamming the breaks on I got out of the car, running up to the front door.

"Cas? Cas open up!" I yelled, pounding on the front door.

No one answered the door making me panic, where could Cas be at this hour? It was almost ten o'clock and a school night, no offence to Cas but he rarely went out. Trying out the door knob I wasn't surprised to find that it was locked.

"Fuck," I grumbled.

Kicking at the dirt I walked back to the car, pulling at my hair in frustration. Where the fuck was he? Getting in the car I started the engine and drove home. My thoughts were chaotic as I turned down familiar streets before pulling up the driveway. Getting out of the car I stormed inside the house, my heart filled with anger and confusion.

"Finally your home!" a voice spoke. Turning to the voice I was surprised to see Sam and Gabriel in the lounge room.

"Yeah I finished late. Where's Cas?" I asked.

"Cas is in your room, but be careful. A lot of things happened today. Be gentle with him yeah?" Gabe spoke, for once his voice was full of seriousness.

Frowning I ran upstairs, my heart pounding in my ears as I pushed open the bedroom door. My breath hitch as my eyes fell on Cas. His pale skin covered in lilac bruises from head to toe, his body shivering as he hugged a pillow to his chest.

"Cas, what the-" stopping myself I walked over to Cas, his eyes focused on nothing in particular.

Cas said nothing, just sat there in a trance-like state. Sitting on the edge of the bed I pulled Cas into a hug, holding him close like my life depended on it.

"Who did this to you, Angel?" I whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to Cas' head.

"J-Jonathan," he answered in a monotone.

Growling I tightened my grip on Cas, "I'll make him pay for what he did to you Angel. I promise."


	13. Guns

Looking down at Cas I smiled as gentle sores passed his pale lips. Even in the dim light I could see the dark bruises that traced his face, like lilac flowers blossoming over his pale skin. Reaching over to the bedside table I grabbed Cas' phone, frowning at the phone as it buzzed every few minutes. Opening Cas' phone I quietly whispered an apology, I wouldn't normally go through someone's phone but this was a different situation. Frowning I looked at Cas' phone.

**50 New Messages**

**25 Missed Calls**

All of them from the same person. Jonathan. Grinding my teeth I quickly scrolled through the messages that he'd been sending Cas. I hadn't even read half of the messages before throwing the phone to the other end of the room. Cas didn't even flinch, he just buried his face further into my chest. Smiling gently at a sleeping Castiel I couldn't help but press a gentle kiss to his forehead.

"I promise you Cas, I'm going to deal with Jonathan once and for all. I'm not going to let him hurt you anymore," I vowed, gently stroking his cheek. 

Reluctantly, I detached myself from Castiel and left the room. Passing the lounge room I noticed Gabriel and Sam curled up on the couch together, both of them asleep. Smiling at the two I walked down the basement steps, I shivered at the coldness of the room. Ignoring the cold I walked to the safe, only Sam, my dad and I knew the code to the gun safe. Opening it I picked up the silver handgun with delicate engravings on the side. This was my father's idea of a birthday gift, I wasn't complaining but it certainly wasn't something I wanted when I was thirteen.

Tucking the gun into the back of my jeans I walked back up the stairs, trying to be quiet. Closing the basement door I headed to the front door, treading quietly I grabbed the keys to the Impala. Glancing back at the house one more time I let out a sigh, promising to come back as soon as possible.

**~~~~**

Pulling up in front of the motel I groaned in annoyance, this is the place Jonathan had sent Cas, along with demands that Cas came to him immediately. Double checking the gun I breathed in, trying to calm myself down. Trying to reason that this would mean that Cas would be safe.

"For Cas," I whispered, tightening my grip on the gun.

Getting out of the car I walked up to the motel, taking the stairs to the third floor where Jonathan was.

**_Floor three, room twenty-one._ **

That's what the message had said.

Knocking on the door I sucked in a breath, my heart pounding in my ears as a set of footsteps approached the door. As the door was jiggled, signalling it was being unlocked I felt like my heart was ready to explode.

"You're the asshole that's tried to keep Castiel away from me," the man growled, his fiery looks looked dull under the lights.

"No, I'm going to make sure you stay away from him. I won't let you hurt Cas anymore!" I growled.

Pulling the gun out from the back of my pants I pointed the gun at Jonathan. The silver engravings glistened in the dull lights. Jonathan raised an eyebrow and laughed at me.

" _Ooo_ , a gun? What are you actually game enough to shoot me?" Jonathan teased.

"If it means you'll leave Castiel alone and finally be out of his life? Then yes, I will," I growled.

"Nothing will keep me away from Castiel, after all, he is my little whore," Jonathan snickered, his lips curling up in mock.

As my hands tightened around the gun my index finger pulled the trigger. Jonathan's mocking smile stayed on his lips as the gun sounded. In less than a second, the bullet that had been in the gun had pierced Jonathan's shoulder. As I stood there in shock I watched as Jonathan laughed, despite his grey shirt turning darker as blood oozed from his left shoulder.

"I'm going to make you wish you'd never done that pretty boy," Jonathan growled, lunging towards me.

Falling down I groaned as Jonathan sat on top of me, my gun no longer in my hands.

"Let me remind you of your place," Jonathan roared, throwing a punch after punch at me.

Trying to block them, I kept my arms covering my face. After awhile Jonathan got off me, laughing as he did so.

"Well, ya tried. Not going to lie, your not the first," he laughed. Groaning I sat up, coughing as I looked over at Jonathan.

"This is gorgeous, I'm gonna keep it. I'm also going to make sure I get rid of you. Then I can have Castiel _all_ for myself," Jonathan laughed.

"I won't let you touch him again!" I yelled.

"Trust me, I will," Jonathan grinned, cocking the gun at me.

I've got to get the gun, I thought.

Grinding my teeth I stood up, looking at Jonathan as he continued to laugh at me. Jonathan was leaning against the railing, spinning the gun around his finger like an idiot.

"For Cas," I whispered.

"What'd you say?" Jonathan growled, glaring at me.

Screaming at Jonathan I ran towards him, knocking both of us over the railing. Plummeting to the ground. A loud bang echoed in the night air. What felt like forever quickly came to a sudden end as we hit the ground. Lying on my back I stared up at the night sky, it was full of beautiful white stars shining down on us. Despite the cold I could feel my chest oozing with liquid. Did Jonathan shoot me? Rolling my head to the side Jonathan lay beside me, eyes staring at the sky.

 _Motionless._

Looking back at the stars I smiled as black dots started to cover my vision.

"I did it Cas," I whispered, letting the blackness swallow me whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry the last chapter sucks. I might do an epligoue but for now I just needed to finish the story and sadly, this is it. Thanks for reading it guys!


End file.
